Firm for the Culture | Confronting the Fear of Attention.
Wanting to be seen but invisible. I am what a Trademark Attorney looks like.
I went to see Beyoncé last week.
And I saw Blue Ivy strut her stuff, I could not help but think of the amazing rush, and concomitant fear, of being seen.
Being seen in your fullness is something most of us can only dream about.
To receive recognition for the contributions we make to our communities is a goal many of us have at the top of our list.
But what happens when you’re finally seen and you suddenly feel uncomfortable?
What happens when your growing recognition makes you long for the days of obscurity?
A self-proclaimed “A-type” personality, the growing recognition of Firm for the Culture used to make me obsess over the dissatisfaction of a couple of folks so much that I forgot our 98% approval rating.
This obsession would bring me, head first, into a spiral, leading me to wonder if leading a law firm was even worth it.
Sound familiar?
If so, this post is just for you.
Ready?
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The Dual Edges of Recognition: Embracing and Fearing the Limelight
Believe it or not, the paradox of wanting and fearing recognition is a completely normal phenomenon.
It’s embracing and being scared of the spotlight.
It’s standing out and becoming uneasy with being noticed.
It’s embracing and confronting attention.
And, as we’ve been discussing, it’s part of embracing and crushing your upper limit.
For the newcomers, the upper limit is a psychological phenomenon Gay Hendricks describes as our maximum tolerance for the amount of happiness or abundance we’re willing to receive.
When we’re close to surpassing our upper limit, we may do something (like self-sabotage or obsess with negativity) to “bring us back down to earth.”
But there are ways to navigate these seemingly conflicting feelings with ease and grace.
Let’s dive into ways we can keep growing when the upper limit makes us want to recoil.
Not going to lie, I used to think these were the cheesiest things ever.
But after seeing how our clients’ faces lit up when I reminded them of their own wins, I now know there is power in building my own “win” list.
I still recall the day we received critical and uncomfortable feedback from one of our clients; to stay grounded, we were able to rely on the more than 50 five star reviews and a myriad of Linkedin recommendations we’ve obtained to date.
This allowed us to properly contextualize the feedback instead assuming it was a characterization of our company as a whole.
Properly contextualizing feedback will be crucial as you scale.
Embrace it.
When you’re playing big, people are naturally going to notice.
This used to scare me; it was great to receive the benefits of being known while remaining obscure.
But purpose doesn’t work like that.
You’re going to be noticed.
You’re going to get critical feedback.
And that’s okay.
It’s part of the journey when you’re playing big.
Receive the feedback as a gift and keep it moving.
The journey to greatness is not for the faint of heart.
In fact, as one of my favorite motivational speakers, Billy Alsbrooks notes, on the road to greatness, there will be times when you’ll feel crushed, exhausted, and alone; “each of these circumstances will disguise themselves as failure.”
In those moments, shifting perspective and affirming yourself is crucial.
When the going gets tough, for instance, I get up earlier to workout and listen to motivational teachings and videos.
This exercise has brought me through countless seasons of hardships.
Find a “go to” to keep you hopeful in seasons of darkness.
If you were born to stand out, you will inevitably be noticed.
Vacillating between embracing and fearing the spotlight is normal.
But do not let the fear of being seen cause you to play small.
You’ve got purpose to fulfill.
We at Firm for the Culture are here to guide, support, and walk alongside you every step of the way.
#ForTheCulture
What are some ways you learn to embrace the spotlight?
Share in the comments below!
And when you’re ready to protect your unique contribution to the culture, including protecting the bold brand you’re building, reach out to us.
Can’t wait to help you protect your dynamic impact.
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Thanks for reading.
See you next time.
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