Firm for the Culture | Self-Sabatoge & the Upper Limit.
For the bold of us who still get scared. I am What a Trademark Attorney looks like.
I think I recently hit my upper limit.
If you’ve been in our Founders community for a long time, you may have noticed the unannounced hiatus I’ve taken from posting.
I can conjure up a narrative that it was due to being busy, burnout, or being booked out for months at a time.
But if I’m being honest, it was good old fashion imposter syndrome.
And believe it or not, it wasn’t because things were going bad; it was because things were actually working out.
I had just made a crucial but freeing decision to change the structure of my team.
We had just snagged our 220th trademark client.
And I hit a 22 week Substack publishing streak - an accomplishment only 13% of Substakers could claim.
But then my imposter syndrome started to roll in…
I started to question whether I was making any meaningful impact despite a growing founders community and successfully obtaining more dynamic clientele.
I started to question whether I was diving head first into obscurity and no longer standing out, even though I was recently invited to present at a 300+ person in attendance conference.
In short, rather than embracing the new abundance I was experiencing, I started to question when the other shoe was going to drop.
In doing so, I started to self-sabotage, holding off on drafting more motivational stories for fear that I would make a huge mistake if I could actually be seen for the person I prayed I would become.
Has this ever happened to you?
According to psychologist and author Gay Hendricks, who first introduced this theory, the Upper Limit is the subconscious self-sabotage that happens when we get a taste of something great, be it a promotion, a financial windfall, a great relationship, completing your first marathon, or any other measure of success.
It’s a manifestation of the self-limiting belief that we are not deserving of something great or that someone will find out that we don’t belong at the very level we’re navigating.
Even when we worked hard for it.
Even when we toiled in obscurity for it.
Even when we invested in ourselves strategically for it.
For me, my upper limit came when I decided to take a break from back to back coaching, all in efforts to trust myself and my inner voice.
When I started seeing the dynamic fruits of the decisions I unilaterally made without the assstance of a coach, I started to self-sabotage, all based on the erroneous presumption that I could not do this unless I had someone holding my hand every step of the way.
But now that I am identifying it, I want to unpack ways to overcome it.
If your experience is anything like mine, you’re going to want to read this until the very end.
Ready?
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How to Overcome The Upper Limit Induced Urge to Sabotage Success
Part of what’s helping me overcome my upper limit issue is admitting to my friends that I am scared of engaging the next level.
Although I am far away from my hometown projects of Brooklyn, New York, I still sometimes sink into an irrational fear that one wrong move would bring me right back to ground zero.
Even if we don’t share the same fear, we may have the same sentiment.
Maybe you fear the next level will open up insecurities that you thought you’ve overcome.
Maybe you fear the other shoe will drop in some form or fashion.
Or maybe you fear that your next level will require you to let go of negative relationships that made you feel comfortable.
These fears are normal and can be readily embraced by those you trust.
Once I shared my upper limit fears with my friends, they prayed for me, let me cry, and shared with me that they were cheering me on as I moved to the next level.
Admitting my fear freed me.
I trust it will free you as well.
The crazy thing about the Upper Limit phenomenon is that is it never comes at the right time.
Like, I still have a to-do list that is a mile long.
Things still have to be done.
Once I realized my upper limit feelings were not going away as easily as I wanted, I decided to embrace grace.
Grace that not everything would get done at the time I wanted.
Grace for the little girl in me who was scared of the unknown.
Grace for not knowing what I didn’t know and engaging the journey anyway.
And grace to ask for help.
Indeed, the successful publishing of this post is attributed to some good old requested accountability from best friends.
Admitting I needed accountability freed me.
I trust it will help you as well.
I once heard that some celebrities, in order to recenter themselves, will put on a pair of sunglasses, get all dolled up and go to…
Target.
Yes, you heard that right.
Target.
There’s something about the mundane that can ground us in moments we feel lost.
For me, some grounding activities include cleaning my room, cooking for the week, and shopping with coupons at CVS (do not sleep on CVS….).
It reminds me that I am still the same old girl who loves a good bargain, even if I am in a completely different space from where I grew up.
The Upper Limit is a Signal of Success, Not a Foreboding of Failure
The Upper Limit is actually a gift.
It’s a signal that you are on the precipice of something great.
That you are really walking in the vision you could only dream about.
So embrace it.
Grace yourself on it.
But no matter what, don’t stop going.
You’ve got purpose to implement.
We at Firm for the Culture are here to guide, support, and walk alongside you every step of the way.
#ForTheCulture
Can you recall a time when you’ve reached your upper limit? What helped you overcome the possible self sabotage?
Share in the comments below!
And when you’re ready to protect your unique contribution to the culture, including protecting the bold brand you’re building, reach out to us.
Can’t wait to help you protect your dynamic impact.
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